Scene from “The Party” (2017)


Small clean kitchen in a downtown hotel in the middle of winter in San Francisco, cigarettes fill the ashtray as Antonio rolls a joint, Mireya is dancing to house music, It’s 3 in the morning and they are both a little drunk. 

Antonio:  You asked me earlier how you cut people off so easily…you know (lights the j and inhales deeply) In my heart…you know, what I mean… people I have loved. Whatever you were there…you fucking remember

Mireya: (still moving her hips to some trance music) Yes – I did- I was (laughing) how can I help you?

A: I have been up late…thinking and writing until the early morning…

M: (still dancing) …like always

A: A valve …I use it. I mean I fucking have it!

M: (interrupting) Valve? Wait…ok go…(they both start laughing)

A: Yes love…please let me finish- OK in my mind there is a valve…fuck! This sounds so fucking stupid (Mireya is looking him in the face as he stares out his small window) I turn it in my mind, I mean when I’m trying to disconnect baby…see? this sounds so lame 

M: Please …(grabs her drink) I have to hear this…

A: (Looks Mireya directly in the eyes intently and gravely) When I turn the valve shut I have no feelings for that person anymore, I don’t need to speak with them…I just do not care about them anymore no friendship, no coffee, no updates…none of that. My own Father, I shut the valve on him, I don’t hate him, I don’t care it’s like…. 

M: I mean I’m sorry Antonio…you know how I feel about you, you are my best friend… 

A: (shrugs and forces a fake smile) You know the sad part Mireya? 

M: (slowly) Hmmm? 

A: I have never been able to open the valve once I have closed it…it’s a damn curse! It’s like a mechanism just like writing….it just is…I have been proud of that! ….for so many years (looking down) 

M: Baby…I love you (smiling drunk)

A: Yes Mireya…let me finish, I always thought…..shit Why am I spilling my bullshit all over you?

M: because you love me (smiling and still moving to the beat) 

A: (smiling with his eyes) umm I have always thought it was a just a tool or a way of strength to deal with life’s sorrows and…you know… let downs…disappointments , sounds so cheesy right? 

M: No its not cheesy baby…I mean …I am not so strong 

A: Part of it is because I am a Libra… 

M: Holy fuck! You lost me

A: Libra is the only inanimate sign…inanimate means…

M: (interrupts) I know what inanimate means, without life? The scales?? The balance and order all that bullshit…are you saying…(Antonio is shaking his head yes) …you feel like you don’t have life? Fuck Antonio you are one the most…

A: (cuts her off) Yes I am saying that is exactly how I feel ….. or don’t feel.  

M: (takes a long drink, sits up in her chair, grabs his face..) Well then you are lucky baby! I wish I could do that. 

A: Yeah (takes a long drink and looks down) 

M: So…I mean I have known you in the biblical sense of the word ( Antonio laughs)

A: Hey fucker that’s my line! 

M: I mean we have been friends and lovers for so many years….why haven’t you… Why are you telling me this Antonio? 

Long pause… Camera is on Mireya’s face 

A: Well this is the fucked part…Mireya…two…two reasons…I’m telling…you (sits up in his chair and clears his throat) I have cancer in my bones…. I have cancer Mireya…(looks up at Mireya) Jack ass doctors…they say I got like 6 weeks…(Mireya is sobbing, Antonio holds her long hair in his lap) 

M: I…I love …(crying softly she loses her voice…) 

A: Don’t you want to know the other reason?…Mireya? 

M: (barely audible) Sure mi amor 

A: (lifts her head from his lap and holds her face)Because Mireya , I could never turn the valve on you my love…(Mireya weeping uncontrollably) That’s why I always called you….(his voice cracks)…I mean I tried to…but I couldn’t do it baby, I have always loved you…from the start

Mireya crying loudly as Antonio holds her in his lap….Antonio looks out his small window as the rain begins to fall….END SCENE 

Rise and fall of a relationship

I really feel that I have an advantage writing these papers about relationships, children and parenthood; that ‘hood that you never leave. I have been in my relationship for over 19 years and can speak with both experience and intelligence on this particular subject of relationships.
I really like the title The Rise and Fall of a Relationship , because of the glaring fact that most relationships do not last and it’s easy to find a plethora of information on reasons why they don’t stand the test of time.
The initial meeting stage in Backman’s four stage model is typically the most exciting time and some folks are fooled into believing that their relationship is dipped in the stars and baptized in the waters of heaven. Actually in most cases, propinquity is the key that unlocks the door to newly found relationships.
Of course intimacy is the foundation to all relationships because it involves disclosure and more importantly vulnerability. These I believe are vital to building that arch upon which all good relationships are built. The trust involved in that infancy stage of romance is inimitable and some find when they used sand to make mortar; their foundations are dodgy at best and when the world gets in the way and reality rears its ugly head, the relationship collapses. Conversely, if the bricks are in place and the foundation is solid, relationships can weather any storm and are stronger because of it.
Needless to say, this foundation will determine which road will find four feet, the long road to maintaining the relationship or the short walk to dissolving that which was built on frivolity and lust.
I really like The way Levanger’s model is described in this section, it definitely holds water in my experience.
After 19 years with the same lovely and strong woman the attraction that laid the groundwork is still there and over the years of building and continuing to build thru trial and error I have found that our success was due to physical intimacy, lack of jealousy and communication. We have had times where we both felt our relationship was deteriorating, most couples do.
To pull my skirt even farther up my thigh(gross), our relationship ended for a short period of time but was renewed fairly quickly. Today we are more in love than we were 19 years ago (barf) and I will say that sexuality and burning down the bed from time to time with variations and role playing has solidified our sexual relationship over the last two decades. 
Of course, this is all bullshit we fight like cats in heat. 

If it wasn’t for my god-like dexterity I would be missing a limb or two, eating out of a straw, sniffing drain pipes and reciting the alphabet with Big Bird. 

Misery loves company and I’m her huckleberry hound. 
That’s not completely true either, the truth is actually somewhere in between, but I will never tell.
D.A. Medina

Snow White and the balanced self-monitoring dwarves

Psych Paper Fun….

I have written numerous indictments against the Snow White story including fair and unbiased appraisals of the sub-text to humor my chick and two daughters, warning them, in my own whimsical way, about the dangers of conformity, being too pretty and living with seven men. In an effort to kill two scales with one Apple (hahahaha) I will attempt to incorporate the answers in the exercise into my reaction which according to my Self-Monitoring Scale seems to be quite balanced.

After living on earth for more than forty years I have gleaned some wisdom from poor decisions and have made a firm resolution over ten years ago to strive to become a fine specimen of manhood, a true human being, a devout reader of books whilst completely disconnecting myself from the “Watchbox” and Its subtle trickery.

These choices have led to a new found balance in my life I had never experienced in the prior 30 years of life. Teenagers, in my humble opinion, are faced with the internet and the television land where the truth is hard to find and creativity wanes.

When creativity wanes it is usually replaced with cheap forms of sex and sexual innuendos leading the youths to believe that pop songs about mounting one another in some unknown club where women with bubble butts sip champagne is reality and will somehow, someday manifest itself in their tiny world of texting.

Of course there are some youths who shun the modern schema and form their own opinions about the way they look and the way they feel about sex. (They usually don’t fit in)

Personally, I have conceded to good health letting the wrinkles lay where they may. My intellect has taken the baton from my weary frame and flesh intent on becoming a complete man; body, mind and soul.

D.A. Medina

On the deep grammar of the White House Correspondents Association Dinner 

Friends, White House Correspondents, countrymen lend me your ear…pass me a beer and a small plate of fear. The rotten part of me loves the hypocrisy of folks running around the District of Columbia with “Press” badges on. If it wasn’t for all the social lubricants in the rooms and after parties the entire experience may as well be Chaplin flick with ragtime jazz playing in the background. The White House “Elite” rubbing elbows in a silent movie where everyone is smiling and not one soul dares to flick the “mute buttons” off their collective lapels as the whole show would go from Barnum and Bailey to Bobby and Whitney (which in my humble opinion is/was the only real reality show).

It is very difficult to behave as a journalist at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner when your mouth has been sewn shut, your arms have been chopped off and you need an IV in your neck to get anything into your body that resembles a “spirit”.
D.A. Medina