DEAD Dog WALKING (Bourbon Life EP.1 Scene 5)

(Scene opens with Betty staring at a dead mutt that is attached to a bedazzled dog collar and chain that Cobb is squeezing in her swollen hand)

COBB: Oh it’s just a blessing!

Betty: Who?

COBB: You know the thing with the yard

Betty: What?

COBB: You know! The place…with the beds!!

Betty: The House?

COBB: What?(smiling)

Betty: The House, Cobb?

COBB: (smiling) Who?

Betty: The place where you live with your boyfriend and your herpes.


Betty: Yes COBB the house….I’m leaving

COBB: Are you angry? I’m going to the 21 flavors with my dog, I got him a leash today

Betty: I’m leaving and it’s 31 flavors

COBB: NO WAIT!! What they have 31 flavors now? Bless their hearts…8 more flavors

Betty: It’s ten more

COBB: My goodness even better (licking her lips and bending over to pick up the dead dog)

Come on puddles…he is such a good dog Bertha, never barks at anyone! (Looking at Puddle’s dead eyes and talking baby talk) That because he a good Christian doggy huh puddles? Tell Bertha about Jesus my boy…(points the dogs paw at Betty) You’re a sinner! You’re gonna burn hahahahaha …momma is gonna take you to ice cream’s house because I’m a good momma! Even the dog says so Bertha.

Betty: It’s Betty… my name is Betty and the dog isn’t listening COBB! He isn’t barking at anyone because he can’t bark, he is DEAD! I gotta go!!!

COBB: OK uh..uh…don’t you wanna see Puddle’s finger paintings before you leave? I can give you a ride to 21 flavors, I mean I would take you all the way home but I’m broke and the dog doesn’t like to ride in the car!

Betty: But the dog is dead, shall I use hand puppets here?

COBB: (looking up at the sky) ….mmmm hand puppets

Betty: How can the dog….never mind!

COBB: I know but I can tell he doesn’t like it Betty, when I drive too fast on the bridge he falls off the seat cushion. Then he just lays there.

(long pause)

Betty: Fascinating, but I’m due back on the planet earth soooo…

COBB: Hahahaha! You always make me laugh Betty, the planet earth she says! Hahahaha! This is California silly!

(End scene)

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