Ramon, Pablo and the Take Away Close
The Nighttime took a long stroll around Ramon’s home, wearing His deep blues and banging down the block in His heavy boots soaked in the evening tide. The Fog came in Her grey gowns pulling taffy and cotton candy strokes across the skyline. The darkness lingered around the conversations and observations holding flash light batteries and buckets of new leaves ready for the turning.
Two friends stand under the moon-glow smoking a joint of Chocolate Thai.
Ramon: That man that holds up the stars must be happy tonight.
Pablo: He mmmm mu must be
R: Relax my friend it’s only a way of speaking
P: I know man, fuck
R: Pablo, my good friend, we have had the same night for the last couple of years. We drink, we fight each other for fun and we philosophize about the ins and outs of life or else we go to the Roadium drive in and watch Do the Right Thing.
That stutter can be easily cured. After all big boy, if you ain’t comfortable around me with that fuckin’ uh-uh ummmm bullshit you ain’t never gonna get a chick to kick it with your bumbling punk ass.
P: Hey Ramonito when I want your advice I’ll p-p-pull my dick out your mouth
R: Funny…some dudes got jokes…but not you fat man.
P: Fuck that I been tryin’ to get at Monica forever and every time I get ready to spit at her I freeze up and start stuttering. You… you know?
R: What? Monica? That’s Big Grumpy’s girl!
P: I don’t give a fuck…we have a uh uh um
R: A connection?
P: Yeah man
R: (pulling hard on the joint) That is someone else’s girl, you know we don’t get down like that in the hood. Shit, (smoke bellowing from his nose and wafting under the streetlight) even if he left that bitch you would be stupid to try to get at her. That’s the rules homey; we don’t do our thing like the white folks, everybody ends up fucking everybody…we got class in our hood.
P: Yeah but she is a tender one though.
R: True, but I think it might be the fact that she is taken.
R: Yeah you know muthafuckas always want what they know they can’t have. That lust has been around since forever.
R: Man has been killing man over things that do not belong to him for years bro and another man’s woman has been the blue plate special of jealousy since the beginning of time.
P: What the fuck? You never talk like that in front of the boys!
R: Like what?
P: L… L… Like that all vocab and poetry and shit.
R: I don’t think they would get it and I have been keepin this poetry and writing thing to myself for so many years and each year it gets harder to talk about it with the homies because of what they might think.
P: Fuck them bruh. How muh muh much ass have you broke down just on that Spanish Poetry?
R: I never kiss and tell Pablo…but your point is made muthafucka. However the homies are simple and rock headed. They would all die for both of us and loyalty is rare in this world. So I keep my homies ignorant to my art.
P: That sounds cool I guess.
R: Yeah man like I was saying, humans want what they can’t have. In the world of sales they call it the “take away” close. The first part and possibly the most integral part of the take away is the desire for the…uh…the uh…desired…uh desire of uh…(clearly stoned)
P: What the dude wants right?
R: Well said Pablo… They have to want it for the take away to be effective, if they don’t want it then they won’t do shit. For example a man wants to buy something, he wants a comic book, lets say, but the price is too high so he begins to negotiate.
Ramon passes the joint to Pablo
R: So, my friend, the buyer begins to negotiate and the buyer never offers more than the asking price, well almost never, in this case let’s say the comic is $45
P: Damn! What comic is that?
R: I don’t fuckin know…it’s just an example…
P: (takes a long drink of his beer) I ain’t never heard of no comic book cost 45$
R: Just shut the fuck up and let me bless you with some of this game. So dude offers $30…and now you see Pablo the take away has begun!
P: What is?
R: The take away!!
P: So he offers 10 bucks less and the t-t-take away has begun?
R: Yeah cuzz $15 less and yes the take away has begun.
P: Wait …what?
R: (Shouting) THE TAKE AWAY CLOSE YOU DUMB SHIT!!
P: Hey man, don’t start that shit! I will f-f-fu-fu fuck you up!
R: F ff fuck! Ha! Yeah Pablo you feel good? Get em up and get tapped up!
Pablo gets up out of his chair and his beer bottle clinks against the concrete.
P: Don’t let me get ahold of you flacoso!
R: Okay okay chill P! chill…chill P lemme finish
P: Yeah…but im f-f-fuckin pissed (sits back down)
R: Ok Listen cuzz… homeboy that runs the comic book shop takes the book off the counter and puts it back in the case!
P: Why the fuck?
R: Like I said (Ramon takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky) just listen my man, I love you bruh…just hush
P: Cool ok ok
R: He TAKES the item away from the potential buyer!! Now the poor bastard wants it even more!!!
P: Got it
R: So the uh….uh (clearly stuck and shaking his head)….umm…shit!
P: Dude that wants the comic…
R: Indeed, sorry my man that Thai has got ahold of me…
R: So the buyer ups his offer to $40!
P: Right! ………What?
R: Now you see Pablo the hook is lodged in the mouth.
P: Hook? What the fuck hook?
Ramon stopped speaking for a spell, and, as his Uncle taught him, began to contemplate the moon.
P: What? Hey man! You ain’t stuck are you?
P: Hey man …Ramon!
Ramon shook himself free from the short-lived bliss.
R: Hey..P man OK… Do you want some if this before I sack it up?
R: This Thai weed
P: Yeah yeah um So wh what you gonna ? umm whats up you gonna hook me up?
R: 100 a quarter?
P: Awww come on bruh…
R: This is my money my man plus I smoke you out always…
P: Too much!
R: Cool, let me go put this up while I’m still halfway normal.
Ramon disappeared for a few minutes and left Pablo alone in the eye of the moon’s flashlight.
R: Ok yeah man so dude is thinking that he ain’t never gonna get that comic book and the owner hasn’t said a word since he put the book back.
R: So whatchu think happens?
P: Dude leaves?
R: Hell NO!! He ends up paying the $45!! Because he wants what he can’t have! Like I said the world has been chasing this lust around for thousands of years man. Just like you think you have a connection with Monica but it’s really because that’s another man’s lady…you fell me right?
P: mmmm…ok so dude really want the book but he don’t like the ticket
R: Yes sir……hey dogg I gots to go!! Fools are blessin the pager!
P: OK holmes..but real talk though let m-m-me get that Thai
R: Its 100 a q!
P: FUCK IT Ramon
R: So you want this or not crip? I got to coast!
P: Yeah f-f-fuck it here you go bruh (hands Ramon 5 20 dollar bills)
R: Cool I gotchu and I’m gonna throw love on that! You know you just proved my point right??
P: Man…I don’t know just get me that good thang we been smoking!!
Ramon: I love you cuzz…
The sky is black now and Ramon walks out into the streetlight smiling counting his money.
R: The take away close is the shit!!!
(Random street cats talking shit and drinking in the background….)