We are robots (just text me)

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Is anyone alive anymore? Why text when we can just call? How many people have perished behind a “lol”? How many relationships have been severed by the Facebook samurai sword? What happened to the phone booth romance that I used to cherish? Is it possible that this post or “blog” has been penned by a robot that has taken over my precious website?

How would you know sweet readers of words?

Some of you who still rely on the cognitive parts of your brains (oh shit here he goes again) can recognize my writing voice and the hellfire candor that lies underneath the murky waters of originality and good taste.

The rest of you don’t care because this writing is devoid of pictures, besides the Han Solo pic I used to lure in my geek friends.

By the way, books with pictures in them are reserved for those who are less than 5 years old because their imaginations aren’t that complex and they need pictures to help them.⚡️⚡️😉

The billions of folks who subscribe to Facebook and all the other social media sites are fooled into thinking that in some way they are behaving “socially”, this is not true chickens!

I’m sure I could copy and paste a definition of the word “social” to make my point but that would not change a damn thing. When I first engaged in social media many moons ago I thought foolishly that this would be a perfect forum to give freely of my humorous writings. Not for the sake of ego did I pursue this idea, but for the sake of solidarity in a world consumed by greed and despair.

In this sad world we live in, humor may be our only refuge. When the modern human is consumed by fear and regret, life seems hopeless.

Overwhelmed by pressure and unending feelings of shame and incompetence this modern human self medicates or seeks spiritual refuge.

Since pharmaceutical sales have zoomed past our closed universe it is plain to see that most of us self medicate.

What does that mean Daniel?

Alcohol, drugs (especially those scratched out on those small Rx note pads) are what most of us use to escape the pain of modern life.

There are numerous strange behaviors that accompany fear; over eating, gambling, hoarding, facebookeritis etc etc.

There are medical professionals who say that obsessive behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors are only the results of a collective spiritual malady.

To make it plain, you can take any social problem or deviance and apply the same prognosis; we are full of fear and we put shit in our bodies to not feel fear, we need Jesus. (I’m serious when I say that)

“You keep eating rocks. Rocks are not good for you, you should stop, we all love you. Here is my friend Dr Phil ” and so on.

Please understand, I’m not judging anyone, except those who text for a living.  I myself have engaged in self medication without my Ph.D and became one the most infamous pleasure monkeys to wear a skin suit.

It is clear to me that we all need something or someone outside of ourselves to feel complete (hopefully it’s not texting) The thing or person that we choose to need may be our demise or greatest triumph so to speak.

This brings me back to humor; it is the tool I use to deal with reality and I believe it has been given to me for that reason.

I choose to share it with anybody who will engage in it. It is not my business whether they choose to read or not to read, I will continue to write humor.

It is my purpose.

That was a Matrix moment sweet readers.

I say all of that to say this, I see that texting does have a purpose but let us not forget that we are human beings, we are all unique and filled with passion, love and hope. I know this seems silly to go on and on about the texting world but I’m passionate about remaining human and I miss the ten cent phone booth romance speech with my Amorcita back in ’96 when there was nothing to do but listen to each other’s voice and talk about Love.
Goodnight and Goodluck

Your Humble Literary Servant

D

SEX HOLE XV

SEX HOLE XV

“Hey Santa, hit the ho stroll”

 

Before I begin I suppose some explanation is in order. I have been absent from my post for some time and you Sex Hole Addicts must have found another fix for your weary brains, I do apologize.

The reason for my hiatus is very complex and rather than fill up the Sex Hole (hahaha) with specifics, I shall make a sing song diagram explaining my foolishness and absenteeism;

 

The Daniel bone is connected to the heart bone.

The heart bone is connected to the woman bone.

The woman bone is connected to the unending pursuit of perfection bone.

The unending pursuit of perfection bone is connected to the alone bone.

The alone bone is connected to the drink and drug bone.

The drink and drug bone is connected to the jail bone.

 

Hopefully that clears things up.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Sex Hole 15…

 

Monday: Went to Walgreens to practice my social skills with the common man. While I was wandering the aisles that were littered with Christmas brouhaha, one of the employees approached me to ask if I needed some help. I was quick to respond that the help I needed might be out of her scope of employment but thanked her anyway. I noticed she was wearing an oversized T shirt that said “Get your flu shot” in size 100 font draped over her bean bag frame. It reminded me of the 80s when the crack heads in LA used to rock those “You can’t touch this” joints.

 

She urged me to get my flu shot. After I chastised her and her thought processes, paradigms of hope and fashion choices, she left me to roam the aisles in peace. (for details on vaccinations and the tomfoolery surrounding the idea of injecting yourself with dead fetuses of humans and cows see https://wecontroloursoul.com/2015/12/08/sb277-hits-california-affecting-k-12-and-college-students-alike/ )

 

Tuesday:  Another day at the halfway house and the thievery continues…Yes sweet readers of words, it is true, your humble literary manservant has been confined in a “Sober Living Environment”, my revelries and lust for the drink have led me straight into the arms of the white man and his tricks. After my six-day vacation in the hospital and subsequent incarceration for physically and verbally assaulting the pigs over at the Daly City police department, I entered a rehab in hopes to bridle my inner Hemmingway. Following 28 days of yoga, nature walks, and AA meetings, I was sent off to an SLE where once again the white man capitalized on the weakness of my flesh.

 

My housemates, which are 9 in number, are mostly decent white folk but there is always one thief in the bunch. On this particular day, as I strolled into the kitchen I caught “Bobby” sucking down my almond milk which I purchased to detour his criminal behavior.

It didn’t work.

Pulled “Bob” to the side and whispered in his ear, informing him of my dubious plans for him and his insatiable appetite for forbidden groceries, “Check it out fat man, if ANY of my food goes missing from here on out you are going to wish your mother never met your father, feel me?”

We haven’t seen him at the halfway house since.

I feel bad, old Bobby was the salt of the earth…fucking gluttonous troglodyte.

Social Note: Never head-butt the police whilst handcuffed, it always ends poorly.

 

Wednesday: Tolstoy said, “Avoid women at all costs” although this is sound advice I have found it an impossibility, not only that, but Tolstoy was a homosexual so it was much easier for him to stick to his guns, so to speak. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a “Ladies man” but I AM a devout feminist in deed and truth.

As it has been explained in specific detail in so many other Sex Hole installments, I have been speared by Cupid’s pitchfork 20 years ago and haven’t managed to wiggle free from true love and its numerous consequences.

Falling in love with a female tiger who embraces the dogma and sword collection of Genghis Kahn has it drawbacks; if not for my god-like dexterity I may be missing a limb or two.

Due to my poor choices, I have broken the trust that took so many years to establish. In this light, it is very difficult to explain my whereabouts with any smackerel of effectiveness. (word up to Winnie the Pooh nomenclature).

Needless to say, when I informed my Lady of my plans to travel to Reno to get with the homie, Monk McNizzle to finish our full scale musical assault on Santa Claus and his demonic ways in time for the coming holiday, she was less than pleased (growling sound).

Although your humble literary servant was not included in any reindeer games this year, my Tigress didn’t want me crossing state lines for any reason. Since strep throat was running rampant at the halfway house and none of my immediate family was interested in having an opinionated, well spoken, recovering alcoholic at the dinner table, I sought refuge in the bosom of Reno and my faithful outlet for pain and confusion, music.

 

Personal Note: Need to eat my porridge before I start my day because porridge keeps me peaceful and that is a general blessing to the puny humans who annoy me!

 

Wednesday evening: After a treacherous 5-hour journey up the 80 freeway, listening to sermons to calm my weary mind piece and strengthen my lion heart, I arrived safely at the Nugget casino in Reno, Nevada, the inbred cousin to Las Vegas.

Christmas time was upon me and I was curious to find out where the sweet folks of Tweaker Town, USA thought of the holiday. I interviewed several of the natives but they were too paranoid of my line of questioning, so I warned them that their sinful ways would only earn them an all-access pass into Hades’ VIP room where they would burn forever and left them to contemplate their collective demise.

I finally caught up with my pal Monk McNizzle, I was happy and relieved to see a friendly face and a full set of teeth. We philosophized upon topics ranging from music to politics then set up our make shift studio in my hotel room.

Inspired by the 2008 Anti-Christmas anthem “DADDA CLAUSE” produced by Conceit starring Mo Classics, my two daughters and I composed a follow up called “Momma Clause”. Much to the chagrin of my Tigress, I was in Reno to catch up with Monk and record some verses from him and some choral arrangements from his young cohorts that were 4 in number ranging from 2 years old all the way to 11 years old respectively.

Monk and the midget crew left the microphone smoking and I was pleased with the results. I was speaking with Monk about the aforementioned Christmas brouhaha and we both decided that economically speaking the Corporate Giants in Amerikkka just needed to get rid of some shit at year end and they needed Santa Claus to do their evil bidding.

We both conceded that Christmas could and should be renamed “We need to get rid of some shit, Santa get back on the hoe stroll”  Admittedly, we need to shorten the name and make it catchier; an anarchists’ work is never done.

 

Thursday: I woke up to some text messages of cheer from Genghis; she must have thought I needed a boost since I am only 6 months sober, away from my family who wants nothing to do with me and surrounded by liquor. “You are a half ass Dad” “You are a winner” “We don’t fit well together” “Hypocrite” … ah yes I was ready to start my day refreshed and renewed, body, mind and spirit. I made a mental note to make sure she spends the “night in the box” when I returned to the Monkey House of Regret for Christmas Day, “solitary confinement ought to cool her zeal for my demise” I thought.

I surfed the web for a remote sledge hammer that could be activated the next time she decided to text me hate messages but this useful tool existed only in my imagination.

After Monk and I put some finishing touches on “Momma Clause” he returned to his room to nurse a cold and left me to my thoughts which is why I’m back at the modern typewriter, placing pain on the page.

 

Thursday evening (We need to get rid of some shit, Santa get back on the hoe stroll! Eve):

Many moons ago I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special and Linus quoted scripture from Luke and I remember the sound of Linus’ voice and thinking that this IS a time of true joy.

Even though my brain tells me this isn’t really the “time” when Jesus was born (it was more like September) and suicide rates skyrocket this time of year I still have powerful memories of my family.

I remember the whole family would come to my grandparents’ house in Gardena, where I lived, we would have such a great time laughing, gambling and telling jokes. I don’t remember worrying too much for gifts but I do remember the smells and sounds of Christmas when it was pure.

 

Mental Note: Take it easy jackass, life can’t be that bad

 

Friday (Christmas Day): Since I am a union writer I take Christmas day off……PEACE AND ALOHA to you and your families.

 

That’s all SEX HOLE addicts!! S.H. Number 15 is in the books, stay tuned for more SEX HOLE fun!!! Merry We need to get rid of some shit, Santa get back on the hoe stroll Day!!! Wheeeesh!!! I really need to work on that name.

 

 

D.A. Medina

 

 

Soy Boy Choi is the alter ego of Monk McNizzle…

 After slaving away on “Momma Clause” , Monk and I laid down some trap music. In these two short videos Monk McNizzle transforms into the Asian gangster “Soy Boy Choi” equipped with 100 Seth Currys and the infamous musical talents of DAMCOld$ they will destroy all in their path to freedom from the simpletons that propagate the musical landscape of our nation! From 16′ to infinity….CHINA-BASSIN’  
 

Ain’t nobody home

Ain’t nobody home,

she said and pulled her nightgown

into the shadow of the brown wooden

door frame.

I used to live here,

I said and tipped my baseball cap

as I stepped off

the stone porch

into the nightlight

that kissed all of my grandfather’s plumerias.

Then it began to rain

all over my face

as I walked the down the streets

of my hometown.

Millie’s new blues

(TO THE TUNE OF TOMBSTONE BLUES BY BOB DYLAN)

Ode to the Lit-up Losers…..

The Hamburgular and His Heroine hold down the hoe stroll

While Disney and Facebookers are draining your soul

And the whole wide world is under control

Of the Signal’s hum and It’s power.
Newton and Tupac have left us alone

With gravity’s consequence on the Sickest third stone

And Adam is sleep walking, missing a bone

Holding hands with the snake in the Garden.
Mama’s in the whorehouse

She’s looking for booze

Daddy’s yellow pillbox

Says he just can’t lose

I’m in the jungle

With the blackball blues.
The symmetry of Venus is on the newsstand

Laughing at the candy bars “this must have been planned!”

The Nuts and Diabetics just whisper, “Isn’t this grand?”

While the clerk sifts the dope in his apron

Modern man’s sickness is smiling tonight

And the seeds of my saint’s day just doesn’t seem right

But the Jolly Green Giant has forfeited the fight

For his rights to his beans at the flophouse.
Mama’s in the bathroom

She’s cooking up chris

Daddy’s on the borderline

Holding his piss

I’m in the Desert room

In a blacked out bliss
The Joker and Robin both have gone home

Leaving Batman and us sad folks “like …seriously alone”

Tell me My Captain in the most solemn tone

Is it better in the hellish here or the hereafter?
Footballs and teen spirit are holding us tight

Wearing their numbers and fighting to fight

I think somebody better turn off the big light

And send Babe Ruth to the gallows for his hanging.

The bar rooms and gun shops are stretched the seams

The stars on the playground are grinding their dreams

With Cheswick and Kobe on opposite teams

Still the crowd screams for blood from the chickens.
The Queen Mary and the Love Boat are losing their shine

While Julie and Isaac are cooking up swine

The Muslims are angry but Doc says “it’s fine,

can we please get some courage for the lion?”

Aww Mommas at the courthouse

She’s Lying with men

Daddy’s got the top bunk

At the old state penn

I’m in the liquor store

With my bottled best friend
the best things in life are lost in the breeze

Faith, Hope and Virtue are down on their knees

culture vultures hover, spreading disease

In our mission streets in San Francisco.
Cindy and Bobby Brady are getting their fix

While Rerun and Potsie are plotting bank licks

The magic is gone all that’s left is light tricks

Is there a drink for me in the kitchen?
Mama’s in the whorehouse
She’s looking for booze
Daddy’s yellow pillbox
Says he just can’t lose
I’m in the jungle
With the blackball blues

 

San Francisco’s clitoral sheath

I didn’t care for the other title “San Francisco’s Secret Treasure”

Deal with it.

Fisherman’s Wharf, Pier 39, 50 cent Heinekens in the Castro, Chinatown, The Hoe Stroll in the Fillmore, North Beach, Union Square, The Tenderloin and Coit Tower are all landmarks, beauty marks, if you will, located in my favorite city, San Francisco, California.

There are quite a few local diamonds that did not make that prestigious list up there. This week we will concentrate on the Richmond District. In northwest corner of “The City” the Richmond is robed in Her grey gowns, noble in Her misty crown and bejeweled with some of finest gems for the world’s traveler.

Traveling westbound on Geary Avenue, “The Richmond” begins around Arguello and continues until She runs into the Pacific Ocean, bordered respectively by the Golden Gate Park to the south and The Presidio to the north. Also known as the “Outside Lands”, because She was originally “outside” of the city’s borders when California became a state, The Rich’ has Her charms and gifts for both the bustle of the local scene and the meanderings of the tourist.

Ninety percent of Golden Gate Park lies inside the Richmond and that 1000 acre Golden Gate Park has everything from bison and botanical gardens to groves of colonial trees, concourses for music and food festivals and a Frisbee course to accompany their 9 hole golf course. Sojourners in the SFC could spend 2 to 3 days exploring this lush city getaway alone! “Outside Lands” also offers 3 golf courses, several museums, gardens, a mini Chinatown and a myriad of unique restaurants, bars, boutiques and some of the finest produce the City by the Bay has to offer!

The next time you visit San Francisco make some time for the Richmond District, She will not disappoint!

Richmond District Highlights

Mescolanza- Northern Italian cuisine- Try the Linguine Limone, Shrimp Scampi and Thin crust pizzettas! http://www.mescolanza.net

4 Star Theatre- Uber-hip 70s style movie-house that features obscure foreign films, Kung-Fu flicks and the classics. http://www.lntsf.com

Foggy Notion- Bad-ass boutique! – SF jewel shines with unique scented candles, killer leather bags, botanical bath soaps and local honey from the bees in Golden Gate Park!! http://www.foggy-notion.com

Tee-Off Bar and Grill- Dive bar delight- Bump a whitegirl’s head for the night or Belly up to the bar with the locals and enjoy their eclectic cuisine, copious cold drafts, college white girl pussygalore, hilarious theme nights, rad jukebox or play some ping pong alfresco?! http://www.teeoffbarandgrill.com

Please visit my site if you aren’t one of these text robots who are infecting our nation with unoriginality and poor taste….www.wecontroloursoul.com for more tips, recommendations or if you want to meet a real Dick.

SB277 hits California affecting K-12 and College students alike

Senator Pan authors bill under heavy scrutiny of private agenda, bypassing committees and severing constitutional state rights

Imagine you come to work and your supervisor calls you and your coworkers into a large room and informs you that you need to get injected with a vaccine that contain carcinogens, gastrointestinal toxicants, respiratory toxicants and a cocktail of aborted human fetus, neurotoxins and a splash of antifreeze that may or may not cause you to stop breathing depending on your genetic make up.

Imagine the financial aid department at your school required you to do the same thing.

What if your child’s admissions department said your child could not attend school next year unless your child was vaccinated?

What if you are a single working parent attending college and you can’t afford to home school your children?

Will you sacrifice the health of your children for their education or sacrifice their education for their health?

There is no need to imagine or speculate anymore.

Governor Brown signed SB 277, the most stringent vaccine mandate in the United States on June 30, 2015 and families that do not comply will not be able to exercise their state constitutional right to a free and appropriate education.

In 2016 parents will be forced to allow their family doctors and nurses to inject their children with over 40 doses of federally recommended vaccines and the language in SB277 allows the state to add more vaccines to the list.

Debra Baretta, an opponent of SB277 and a Bay Area mother of three healthy boys, was on the Petaluma campus of Santa Rosa Junior College in September 2015 urging students to sign a petition that would allow Californians to vote on the vaccination mandate.

“My boys are 10, 12 and 16 years old, they rarely get sick and have never been vaccinated, it was my choice for them and now this bill is taking that choice away from me and parents all across California” says Baretta.

“This petition needs a little over 36,000 signatures statewide to stop the bill and put it to a vote”

The petition fell short and the deadline came and went leaving concerned Californians baffled.

In an interview after the petition failed to provide the required number of signatures Baretta added, “I think the reason we didn’t get the signatures we needed is because most people trust their family doctors have their children’s best interest in mind, what they fail to understand is that most doctor receive very limited training in vaccinations”

Dr. Suzanne Humphries:

We learn that vaccines need to be given on schedule. We are indoctrinated with the mantra that ‘vaccines are safe and effective’—neither of which is true. Doctors today are given extensive training on how to talk to ‘hesitant’ parents—how to frighten them by vastly inflating the risks during natural infection. …on the necessity of twisting parents’ arms to conform, or fire them from their practices. Doctors are trained that NOTHING bad should be said about any vaccine, period.”

 

In the beginning of this year Disneyland officials confirmed a total of 45 cases of the measles in California spawning a push to vaccinate. By February of 2015 Senator Pan had written and submitted SB277 to the Senate Health Committee. Less than 90 days later this Senate Bill 277 was amended in order to bypass the appropriations committee and then quickly taken to a vote on the senate floor.

The lead in the Sacramento Bee on May 11th 2015 read as follows:

“California’s controversial proposal to eliminate the personal and religious belief exemptions for vaccinations could come up for a vote in the Senate as early as Thursday after amendments were quietly made to the bill last week”

Senator Pan of Sacramento is quoted saying “This bill now is really about abolishing the personal belief exemption”

SB277 passed in the summer of 2015 and will be in affect in July 2016 making California the third state in the nation along with Mississippi and New Mexico whose state rights to personal and religious belief exemptions have been completely eliminated.

Due the grandfather clause in SB277, children in 2nd grade through 6th grade will not have to be vaccinated unless they are transferring from another school district which means there will be a large number of students that won’t even be vaccinated under the new schedule.

A quick recap of the timeline for the purposes of clarity; 45 cases of measles reported at Disneyland in January. In February, Senator Pan, who received over 90,000 dollars in contributions directly from the companies who produce the vaccines and a positon in the research department after his term, wrote SB277 eliminating personal and religious belief exemptions in California.

In the beginning of May, the bill was amended to bypass the appropriations committee because the safety of California’s children was of “vital importance”

By May 11th the senate committee was ready to vote on this bill authored by a man who has never written a bill on health care.

One month later, in June, Governor Brown signs SB277 adding California to a list of only two other states in the nation whose personal and religious belief exemptions have been eliminated.

In July of 2016, when SB277 takes effect, over half of the students in California under 18 years of age will not be vaccinated for another 1-7 years according to the new schedule.

Senate bill 277 that eliminates state rights of religion and education affecting over 39 million California residents went from pen to vote in less than 5 months.

Some believe that the bill is more about agenda than safety.

Dr. Lynne R Mielke of Pleasanton stood before the senate on the day the committee voted and stated, “I am deeply concerned about losing my freedoms and inherent right to make my own medical decisions and that of my child”

Nearly all of the major vaccines contain aborted human, cow or swine fetus which has, for years, been an issue with those Californians with personal and religious beliefs that oppose injecting themselves or their children with the remains of dead humans and animals.

Under the former guidelines their beliefs have been protected.

SB277 has eliminated the personal and religious belief exemptions that Californians already had on file with their respective schools and physicians.

Parents who do not wish to vaccinate their children under the new vaccination schedule, which has doubled the amount of shots in the former schedule, will now have until December 31st of this year to get their physicians to sign a new Personal Belief Exemption form.

SB277 contains language referring to the addition of immunization record into financial aid folders for colleges in California.

“If you are attending any college in California and you need financial aid to ensure your education these vaccination schedules must be met, if they are not, this will be noted in your scholarship schedule and financial aid portfolio” says Baretta.

SB277 is a forced vaccination mandate and once a vaccine is given it cannot be undone.

Depending on an individual’s genetic makeup, the downside of vaccinations may only be the sting of the needle for some it could mean permanent disability, stroke or death.

The question arises once again.

Will you compromise your education for the sake of your health or compromise your health for the sake of your education?

In 2016, billions of Californians will be forced to answer.

D.A. Medina