I really feel that I have an advantage writing these papers about relationships, children and parenthood; that ‘hood that you never leave. I have been in my relationship for over 19 years and can speak with both experience and intelligence on this particular subject of relationships.
I really like the title The Rise and Fall of a Relationship , because of the glaring fact that most relationships do not last and it’s easy to find a plethora of information on reasons why they don’t stand the test of time.
The initial meeting stage in Backman’s four stage model is typically the most exciting time and some folks are fooled into believing that their relationship is dipped in the stars and baptized in the waters of heaven. Actually in most cases, propinquity is the key that unlocks the door to newly found relationships.
Of course intimacy is the foundation to all relationships because it involves disclosure and more importantly vulnerability. These I believe are vital to building that arch upon which all good relationships are built. The trust involved in that infancy stage of romance is inimitable and some find when they used sand to make mortar; their foundations are dodgy at best and when the world gets in the way and reality rears its ugly head, the relationship collapses. Conversely, if the bricks are in place and the foundation is solid, relationships can weather any storm and are stronger because of it.
Needless to say, this foundation will determine which road will find four feet, the long road to maintaining the relationship or the short walk to dissolving that which was built on frivolity and lust.
I really like The way Levanger’s model is described in this section, it definitely holds water in my experience.
After 19 years with the same lovely and strong woman the attraction that laid the groundwork is still there and over the years of building and continuing to build thru trial and error I have found that our success was due to physical intimacy, lack of jealousy and communication. We have had times where we both felt our relationship was deteriorating, most couples do.
To pull my skirt even farther up my thigh(gross), our relationship ended for a short period of time but was renewed fairly quickly. Today we are more in love than we were 19 years ago (barf) and I will say that sexuality and burning down the bed from time to time with variations and role playing has solidified our sexual relationship over the last two decades.
Of course, this is all bullshit we fight like cats in heat.
If it wasn’t for my god-like dexterity I would be missing a limb or two, eating out of a straw, sniffing drain pipes and reciting the alphabet with Big Bird.
Misery loves company and I’m her huckleberry hound.
That’s not completely true either, the truth is actually somewhere in between, but I will never tell.