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Rise and fall of a relationship

~ DAMCOld$ ~ Leave a comment

I really feel that I have an advantage writing these papers about relationships, children and parenthood; that ‘hood that you never leave. I have been in my relationship for over 19 years and can speak with both experience and intelligence on this particular subject of relationships.
I really like the title The Rise and Fall of a Relationship , because of the glaring fact that most relationships do not last and it’s easy to find a plethora of information on reasons why they don’t stand the test of time.
The initial meeting stage in Backman’s four stage model is typically the most exciting time and some folks are fooled into believing that their relationship is dipped in the stars and baptized in the waters of heaven. Actually in most cases, propinquity is the key that unlocks the door to newly found relationships.
Of course intimacy is the foundation to all relationships because it involves disclosure and more importantly vulnerability. These I believe are vital to building that arch upon which all good relationships are built. The trust involved in that infancy stage of romance is inimitable and some find when they used sand to make mortar; their foundations are dodgy at best and when the world gets in the way and reality rears its ugly head, the relationship collapses. Conversely, if the bricks are in place and the foundation is solid, relationships can weather any storm and are stronger because of it.
Needless to say, this foundation will determine which road will find four feet, the long road to maintaining the relationship or the short walk to dissolving that which was built on frivolity and lust.
I really like The way Levanger’s model is described in this section, it definitely holds water in my experience.
After 19 years with the same lovely and strong woman the attraction that laid the groundwork is still there and over the years of building and continuing to build thru trial and error I have found that our success was due to physical intimacy, lack of jealousy and communication. We have had times where we both felt our relationship was deteriorating, most couples do.
To pull my skirt even farther up my thigh(gross), our relationship ended for a short period of time but was renewed fairly quickly. Today we are more in love than we were 19 years ago (barf) and I will say that sexuality and burning down the bed from time to time with variations and role playing has solidified our sexual relationship over the last two decades. 
Of course, this is all bullshit we fight like cats in heat. 

If it wasn’t for my god-like dexterity I would be missing a limb or two, eating out of a straw, sniffing drain pipes and reciting the alphabet with Big Bird. 

Misery loves company and I’m her huckleberry hound. 
That’s not completely true either, the truth is actually somewhere in between, but I will never tell.
D.A. Medina

Snow White and the balanced self-monitoring dwarves

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Psych Paper Fun….

I have written numerous indictments against the Snow White story including fair and unbiased appraisals of the sub-text to humor my chick and two daughters, warning them, in my own whimsical way, about the dangers of conformity, being too pretty and living with seven men. In an effort to kill two scales with one Apple (hahahaha) I will attempt to incorporate the answers in the exercise into my reaction which according to my Self-Monitoring Scale seems to be quite balanced.

After living on earth for more than forty years I have gleaned some wisdom from poor decisions and have made a firm resolution over ten years ago to strive to become a fine specimen of manhood, a true human being, a devout reader of books whilst completely disconnecting myself from the “Watchbox” and Its subtle trickery.

These choices have led to a new found balance in my life I had never experienced in the prior 30 years of life. Teenagers, in my humble opinion, are faced with the internet and the television land where the truth is hard to find and creativity wanes.

When creativity wanes it is usually replaced with cheap forms of sex and sexual innuendos leading the youths to believe that pop songs about mounting one another in some unknown club where women with bubble butts sip champagne is reality and will somehow, someday manifest itself in their tiny world of texting.

Of course there are some youths who shun the modern schema and form their own opinions about the way they look and the way they feel about sex. (They usually don’t fit in)

Personally, I have conceded to good health letting the wrinkles lay where they may. My intellect has taken the baton from my weary frame and flesh intent on becoming a complete man; body, mind and soul.

D.A. Medina

On the deep grammar of the White House Correspondents Association Dinner 

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Friends, White House Correspondents, countrymen lend me your ear…pass me a beer and a small plate of fear. The rotten part of me loves the hypocrisy of folks running around the District of Columbia with “Press” badges on. If it wasn’t for all the social lubricants in the rooms and after parties the entire experience may as well be Chaplin flick with ragtime jazz playing in the background. The White House “Elite” rubbing elbows in a silent movie where everyone is smiling and not one soul dares to flick the “mute buttons” off their collective lapels as the whole show would go from Barnum and Bailey to Bobby and Whitney (which in my humble opinion is/was the only real reality show).

It is very difficult to behave as a journalist at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner when your mouth has been sewn shut, your arms have been chopped off and you need an IV in your neck to get anything into your body that resembles a “spirit”.
D.A. Medina

SRJC student’s horror story gives hope for new life after drug abuse

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“I will give this interview on two conditions; you can’t use my name and you have to write it in a way that will help someone out there, you know someone on meth”

This is how my interview began with Rosie Lockwood, a mid-thirties Bay Area native, who attends Santa Rosa Junior College.

Rosie Lockwood is in the Federal Witness Protection Program. She is a single mother of three elementary school children, a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous and a full time student who proudly brags about her 4.0 grade point average.

“The last semester I got a “B” on my philosophy paper and I started crying”, Lockwood said holding back her laughter. “After the hell I have been through, I’m crying about a “B”?

Lockwood has been tormented by drug abuse since she was a child. “I remember my speed freak mom used to tell me that’s it was ok to date older men and even sleep with them if they sold dope and had money”

“My mom was supposed to keep me away from that kind of shit, instead she turned me on to it”

Lockwood began using meth at age 13, at 21 she met her husband who was 20 years her senior and a narcotics underboss for one of the largest cartels in North America. She refused to provide any specific details on her husband in the likelihood that anyone reading this article may “put two and two together and put her family in harm’s way”

“In the beginning it was like that “Goodfellas” movie; he knew everyone and everyone knew him, I was treated like a queen, I had whatever I wanted” Lockwood recalls.

This royal treatment didn’t last long though, in less than two months Lockwood was using meth everyday; smoking it at first and ultimately becoming an IV user of both meth and heroine.

Lockwood went on to describe horrific accounts of domestic violence including being stabbed, beaten, raped and sodomized by her husband and his friends.

“Yeah, dope dealers don’t like it when you do up all the dope that they are supposed to sell, even after all that, I wasn’t able to stop using” Lockwood said in a solemn tone.

Lockwood’s husband had “f**ked up a pretty big deal in Mexico” in the summer of 2012 that eventually led to his incarceration and subsequent entry into the Federal Witness Protection Plan along with “Rosie” and their three children.

“You know, today… I have a quiet mind and a loving heart, those are the gifts I got by working my program” Lockwood said with her smile lighting up the cafeteria.

“Lots of my friends tried to get clean and sober but were tripping hard on the spiritual part of the program, I told them its ok, if God scares you out of AA, drugs and alcohol will scare you right back in”

 

D.A. Medina

 

 

 

3 tips for the Virgin Car buyer

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Good day,

Big Dan the Car-Man here with pearls of wisdom for those of you thinking about setting foot on the unholy grounds of your local automotive dealership. Most of us would rather sit in a dentist chair answering questions about our last vacation in all vowel sounds than deal with a “Car guy”.

Fear not dear reader, as a 15-year veteran in the car business Big Dan is here to equip you with all the information you need to make your next auto purchase painless and quite possibly pleasant!

Consider using the Internet Department

In this brave new millennium there is no reason to walk into an auto dealership uncomfortable and more importantly, unprepared. Using the Internet Dept. is easy, simply send out a few emails requesting information on which new or used vehicle you are interested in and 90 percent of the time you will receive correspondence which is both accurate and timely. The reason for the newly found honesty, accuracy and timeliness is quite simple; the Internet Dept.’s compensation is directly tied to the surveys that the client receives in the mail 10 days after the delivery. The happier you are the more money they make!

Check your credit before you begin 

Assuming you are not paying cash, it is a great idea to get online and procure your credit score(s). There are three agencies, Transunion, Equifax and Experian that banks use to determine whether or not they will lend to a first-time buyer. Check with each agency and find out your three scores, the middle score is usually most accurate. Check Bankrate.com for rates based on your situation.

Consider purchasing a “Certified pre-owned” vehicle

Since it’s your first time, it would be wise to choose a vehicle that has already absorbed a large amount of the depreciation, been thoroughly inspected and is equipped with a warranty that is honored by the manufacturer.
Almost all makes and models have “certified” programs that include numerous benefits including low interest rates, roadside service, Carfax vehicle history reports and some programs offer a “buyback” window where you can bring back the vehicle if you are not satisfied!
Now you can feel confident in your decision to purchase your first “set of wheels”. I have more tips and information on Carfax reports, warranties and buying cars privately, just email me at BigD@wecontroloursoul.com for more information!

Merry Motoring,

Big Dan

 

Smokey Robinson at Green Hall article

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Smokey Robinson stirs up a Quiet Storm at Green Music Hall

75 year old pioneer of Motown is still the ‘Genius of Love’

“No one can sing, quite like Smokey, Smokey Robinson” penned by the pop-funk band “The Tom-Tom Club” for their 1981 hit ‘Genius of Love’ remains a valid ode to the Hall of Fame inductee.

On September 4, 2015, William ‘Smokey’ Robinson performed before a sold out crowd at the newly constructed Green Music Center on the campus of Sonoma State University in Petaluma, California.

The founding father of the “Detroit Sound” stepped on stage garbed in a green metallic suit kicked off the sold out show with the 1961 hit “Tears of a Clown”.

Robinson, wearing that solid gold grin, crooned his way through the opening tune written by Stevie Wonder and made famous by Smokey and his Miracles.

Singers of Robinson’s popularity are in a rare group of entertainers; a majority of their jobs on stage are accomplished by the audience. The sold out crowd of 4,261, composed primarily of those in the Woodstock demographic, were singing every lyric in motley harmony.

Smokey and his band upped the tempo with another hit “Going to a Go-Go”; the baby boomers joined in the fun dancing all over the grassy dancefloor, “The white man’s overbite” replacing “The Monkey” and “The Mashed Potato” respectively.

Robinson slowed things down with yet another Motown chart topper “Ooh baby baby” which he delivered in a tempo that resembled a Sony Walkman low on AA batteries.

Fellow Motown label mate Martha Reeves told Rolling Stone Magazine in their 100 greatest singers of all time issue, “With his tone and delivery, you could easily fall in love with Smokey”

Some of the female spectators seemed like they would have given Reeves statement an “Amen” as they hooted like a flock of drunken owls.

The only “Vegas” moment in the 95 minute performance came when Smokey’s background dancers pulled out umbrellas under the stars of a muggy summer night, put on raincoats whilst Robinson sang “Quiet Storm” as the dancers wiggled all over the stage. Wisconsin has never witnessed more cheese production.

Besides the silly Las Vegas moment, the performance was chocked with outstanding singing and phrasing from the most inimitable voice in pop music.

34 years after the Tom-Tom Club hit, Smokey Robinson proved in he is in fact ‘The Genius of Love”.

 

D.A. Medina